I am furious.
I am sick of having no control over my own schedule, or my own life. I am completely dependent on other people to make decisions about my days and weeks, and I'm sick of it. Everyone else has something more important to do than what I have to do, so my wants and needs come last, whenever they can be fit in. I've had it.
My sister was supposed to come in today from PA at 12:30. So, I scheduled my day, and also my week around this. This morning I got a message from my dad, they messed up and didn't realize that the flight was 8:30 PM not AM- so she will be getting here at 12:30 AM tonight. THAT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! I HAVE A 10 MONTH OLD BABY WHO WAKES UP AT 6AM! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?
No only that, but it screws up my T appointment for this week, that I have scheduled and rescheduled over and over again based on everyone else's schedule for watching Miles. So I probably won't go at all this week, and I feel like not going next week or ever again because I'm so pissed and don't care at all.
Oh. There's Miles, up and screaming from his nap. What an awesome day.
Breath... And remember this is not your T's fault but your sister's. Just let her know that there is a taxi that she take and you can't pick her at that time.
ReplyDeleteYou are important and need to stand up for yourself. It suck's to say no to people, well it shouldn't. You planned this on your end let her know that you don't have enough time to change everything now. She can take a taxi.
I know, I wouldn't do that to my sister either, but it's fun to think it when you get pissed off.
Don't let it ruin her visit either. I tend to keep going over and over things like this and then miss the fun stuff. Express your feelings in a healthy way and move on. And if you figure out how post it cause I'm not good at it and need the help.
Hey Blu! Thank you for the amazing comment on my blog. I really needed to hear that!
ReplyDeleteI read this post and thought "I bet so many people in the world feel this exact same way." And it's a totally legit way to feel, too. Your needs should not come last just because you have a baby or a certain job or a certain schedule or anything. Your needs matter because you are human. period. I would encourage you to take some of the advice you gave me. You said, "But at some point you need to take care of yourself, which means so many things, one of them being taking control of what professionals you need to see and when. Believe me when I say this, I know it is so much easier said than done. I just want the smart, capable woman back- no matter how much she's struggling or feeling weak right now. She's in there, and she can struggle too." So, I know it's hard, but try to remember that asserting your needs won't actually be as hard as it seems. Saying "no" or saying "yes under the following conditions" or saying "I'd like ____." Or asking, "Can you ___ for me?" ... none of those things will make people think worse of you. You won't lose friends or a reputation. you will begin to be treated with more respect - and that's the only difference.
I hope when your sister visits you are able to think what it is you need to keep yourself from feeling passive aggressive and bitter. And then, once you figure that out, I hope you are able to assert it. That's not asking for much. It's just asking for some basic needs to be met and for your humanness to be reocgnized. We all deserve that.
*See current post* I was throwing that fit because I had to miss my appointment with Liz yesterday. Plain and simple, I was throwing a good old fashioned fit because I wanted to go and there was no one to watch Miles. I wanted to go because I wanted to be treated like a child and taken care of yesterday. I am looking forward to seeing her on Friday, but for very different reasons. I can't wait to move forward! Thanks!!! Have a GREAT day and enjoy getting back to your apartment. Soak up the alone time and USE it for something productive...like paying bills or contacting people you need to- you will feel soooo much better, I promise:)
ReplyDeletePS. As for my sister....oh man....she's still sleeping...i'm sure we'll have a great time, if she ever wakes up, and then if she ever talks to me... wish me luck!
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